Today Mr B was in extraordinary form! Over five hundred people pushed and shoved to hear him. And what a speaker! With his words and rich, deep voice, Mr B had them hypnotised. He made them laugh, he made them cry. Time after time his adoring listeners gave him a round of thundering spontaneous applause. People fell prostrate before him, bawling, sobbing, laughing. Women bared their breasts and offered themselves to him. Each and every listener shivered as they felt within them their lives a-changing.
Unfortunately, due to the inclement weather, none of the other speakers or hecklers appeared at Speakers’ Corner to verify this until about 4pm, but by that time it was too late. The weeping, laughing, joyous crowd had dispersed, their souls enriched, and the only listeners left were the trickle of passers-by leaving the Art Gallery.
But you can take it on trust.
You might remember, last week we reported that heckler Andrew Toth appeared to be at Death’s door after undergoing a cleansing diet for his health. Well, this week he didn’t turn up, and we are concerned that he may have suffered a healthy relapse. Yes, Andrew is a tough old nut, but we fear that his healthy cleansing diet might be deadly enough to kill even him. Andrew, if you’re still with us, if you have not succumbed to the cleansing, then please feebly send us a message to ease our concerns. Even better, turn up this coming Sunday and gladden our hearts. We are wheelchair accessible.