1. Mr B opened with a joke that he seemed to think would have us rolling in the aisles. He tried to convince us all that the current spate of menacing clowns was a serious issue, and that we should arm ourselves with . . . a popgun.
Who writes his material? The Grim Reaper?
2. It wasn’t long after that when Mr B was asked for his thoughts on Bob Dylan being awarded the Nobel Prize for Nostalgia. Sorry, for Literature. We’d like to say Mr B was magnanimous, but that’s a quality he lacks. He was, as you would expect from him, critical. He responded by suggesting that if Bob Dylan got a Nobel Prize for Literature, then Mirko should get one for Science.
3. Unfortunately, Mirko got wind of Mr B’s “support” and took that as an invitation to continually interject. Mirko was at his very best today, in terms of being a pest, and it was only the very real threat of having his laminated signs frisbeed to the five corners of The Domain that prompted him to behave himself.
If there were a Nobel Prize for Being a Pest, Mirko would get that too.
You can forget about Global Warming: Mr B’s exasperation levels were at an all time high, and we could have fried an egg on him. Fortunately, a life coach was nearby and saved the day. Caroline Southwell took the ladder and replaced Mr B.
Suddenly there was calm.
The calm dismayed Mr B. After all, the hecklers hadn’t shut up for him, but as soon as Caroline had begun speaking they were like lambs on Valium. She had made them silent with just a look, and with her intriguing way of discussing a subject.
What dismayed Mr B even further was that as soon as Caroline had begun speaking, the crowd grew. It was as though a Flash Mob had appeared. Mr B had been working like a dog all afternoon and had only managed to get a trickle of a crowd, and he had been losing his voice in the process, so he was galled to see a crowd suddenly appear after a few gentle words from Caroline. (For the rest of us it was like a breath of fresh air.)
Thanks, Caroline, for showing Mr B how it’s done.
For all we know, he’s still sulking.
Caroline’s command of the ladder may have had something to do with her piercing eyes. She only had to look at someone to let them know she was giving them 100% of her attention. She kept her listeners spellbound as she answered questions about Love, the Unconscious, and Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
You’re welcome back any time, Caroline.
And Mr B, if you want to take a long holiday for any reason, that’s alright with us.
4. When Caroline departed, Mr B took his ladder back. A grasshopper claimed that we are motivated by only two emotions: love and fear. Michael Leunig wrote something similar. (Click to enlarge.)
4. Later on, Andrew Toth replaced Mr B, who by then was becoming used to being replaced. Andrew spoke about the meaning of life, while across the way, Steve Maxwell spoke about the absence of God and lazy Christians.
6. We have a Facebook Page which has numbers lower than Malcolm Turnbull’s approval rating, and we have an Archive Site that gets fewer visitors than Ted Bundy’s grave.