44. The solar system discussed

‘After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box.’
Italian proverb.

1.We have begun this post with our inaugural quote of the week. This site needs a bit of class, and we’re not going to get it from the speakers.

2. Early in the proceedings Mr B inflated a white balloon that was to represent the sun. Uncle Pete assisted him by standing in front of the crowd and holding up the “sun”. Mr B orbited him holding a cricket ball, which was the planet Mercury, apparently.

Mr B made a few hotly disputed statements about Mercury and then pulled from his pocket Venus. (Which looked more like a massage ball.)

Throughout all this, Uncle Pete generously “assisted” Mr B further by contradicting him repeatedly, and by kindly offering him tips on how to teach. And, Helmut, (Uncle Pete’s tag team partner), threw facts and figures about like he was throwing confetti.

To top it off, the other Pete (you’d have thought Uncle Pete was already one Pete too many) pointed out facts that Mr B had, in his negligence, omitted.

Unfortunately, none of these interruptions deterred Mr B. He proceeded to produce an orange with a chopstick shoved through it – you guessed it: Earth and its axis. While continuing to orbit Uncle Pete, Mr B valiantly tried to explain how ice ages come into being. He eventually concluded, leaving an audience more confused than ever.


3. Helmut took the ladder and spoke about the remaining celestial bodies in our solar system. From there he jumped to the nearest sun, Alpha Centauri, and from there to Beta Centauri. And from there . . .

He had to be stopped. There are billions of stars in our galaxy and he would have said something about each and every one of them.

4. This photograph sums up well the relationship between speakers and hecklers:


5. Then it was time for poetry. Yes, at Speakers’ Corner anything is possible. A few people took turns to recite, and the quality was high. (Apparently, even Bob Dylan wrote some good material. Who would have thought?) Helmut gave us an excellent recitation of an excerpt from Shakespeare’s play, Macbeth.

Helmut displays an extensive knowledge of many things.

Here is one of the more moving poems recited:

A Prayer to the Wind.
Oh wind that bloweth,
do taketh care,
to not mess up
my coiffured hair.

It costeth plenty
to have it done.
Don’t blow my money;
forgive the pun.

So if this prayer
hath any clout,
then please dear wind,
please peter out.

It was when someone began reciting the words to the Gilligan’s Island theme, in Richard Burton style, that we knew the segment had ended.

The postcard below, from the postsecret website, says a lot more than just what’s in plain sight.


6. Someone accused Mr B of being a complete idiot. Mr B objected to this, explaining that when he was twelve his appendix was removed.

7. Mr B was asked about his thoughts on the proposed ABCC legislation. (ABCC stands for the Australian Building and Construction Commission, a body set up to deal with Trade Union corruption.) It was obvious that Mr B had no hope of intelligently answering the question, and he solved the problem by asking the questioner to get up and speak about it. She did. She got up and stood on Mr B’s ladder and spoke clearly and calmly, and answered questions from the audience. She did a fantastic job and the audience grew in number. Thanks, Rochelle!

8. Then Gary the Christian got up onto the ladder. He’s the guy who has opposed the idea of gay marriage these past few weeks. Today he was passionate, humorous, and provocative. He did a fantastic job as well, and grew the audience even more!


Helmut demanded an opportunity to refute Gary’s assertions about God, and took the ladder for another fifteen minutes. Then Andrew Toth replaced him, and he kept the crowd amused until clearly it was time for everyone to go home.

It had been a good day.

9. The next few days are significant, though no one spoke about them.


10. As promised, this week we begin crowdfunding to raise money to buy the company Facebook. Once we have done that we can commandeer subscribers to our Facebook page. To do your bit, go to Kickstarter and begin donating.

If there is money left over we will buy WordPress as well, to give our ailing Archives site support too.