47. Paradoxes

‘Fifty years from now it will not matter what kind of car you drove, what kind of house you lived in, how much you had in your bank account, or what your clothes looked like. But the world may be a little better because you were important in the life of a child.’

1. Steve was feeling crook but still managed to come along today and do a serviceable job speaking. Good stuff, Steve!

Ray was his usual humble self, giving Speakers’ Corner a wide birth and spreading the word of God near the kiosk.

Mr lost his voice again. His dream to be an opera singer must now be in question.

Helmut warped the space-time continuum by being given five minutes to speak and staying up there for half an hour. Only a superb metaphysicist like Helmut could bend time so well.

2. A police matter! Towards the end of the day Andrew Toth got up to speak on his platform but was soon set upon by a heckler. At one point the heckler allegedly gave Andrew’s chest a stiff finger point, and Andrew felt it necessary to call the rangers and then the police. He wanted the man charged with assault.

Oh my. As if the police . . . as if the rangers . . . haven’t got better things to do. Oh dear.

3. Mr B was asked if the universe was limited to what we can see, and his answer caused consternation. But as usual, he was right.


4. Mr B was again asked the source of his information, and his answer was again ‘the internet’. He argues that using multiple sources, from reliable sites, is sufficient for making a claim. This scribe disagrees, claiming that using old textbooks printed in the last century provide far more credibility. And even books printed in this century can’t be doubted, because they’re books.


5. Unemployment was again a popular topic, and to deal with it the speaker spoke of free trade, renewable sources, and sustainability.


6. The speaker tried to examine Newcomb’s Paradox, but the hecklers had trouble differentiating between thought and reality. That should come as no surprise.


7. The speaker also tried to examine Buridan’s ass, and that is not as bad as it sounds. Again, the hecklers made it tedious. Sigh.


8. Our Facebook page now has 40 friends, but that’s still fewer than the Facebook pages of Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber put together.