“Detachment is not that you should own nothing; but that nothing should own you.”
Ali ibn Abi Talib
1. Mr B’s sewerage pipes were the first item on Mr B’s agenda and why wouldn’t they be? What else could be as important?
Well, he had to make an admission. It was meant to be a one minute grovelling admission, but Tommy (welcome back, Tommy!) kept asking what the problem with the pipes had been, and so we had to hear about Mr B’s blessed sewerage pipes for fifteen minutes. Sigh.
It got frank, folks.
To fix Mr B’s sewerage problem, Uncle Pete suggested that Mr B should stop shitting in his wash basin. Thanks for that, Uncle Pete. Let’s hope Mr B begins to follow that sage advice.
For those of you wondering, Mr B has kindly sent your scribe a photo of the pipe in question. (Notice the wonky direction the s-bend takes.)
Mr B tells me that next week he will ask his grasshoppers for help in solving another sewerage related matter: why do his turds smell like lavender?
2. Passer-by Basma spoke for half an hour on the imminent dangers of climate change, and on her disappointment with our Prime Minister. She said hang the expense, we need to make drastic changes or we won’t even have an economy. We won’t have a place to live in!
You won’t be surprised to know that Peter the Younger had a few words to say about that.
Basma also suggested that Australia invest in nuclear power, like France. A few people agreed and a few disagreed. Lots of knowledge on the subject was displayed.
Basma did a good job on the podium, and managed to keep order. She received two rounds of applause for her efforts. Well done, Basma!
3. By public demand Tommy also got up to speak. He told us how he had recently walked the long way to Newcastle (200kms) and discovered that the further he was from Sydney, the friendlier people were. He established this by doing a ‘good morning’ test with the locals: he would wish passers-by ‘good morning’ and see if they responded in kind.
Tommy finished by saying we should wish people a ‘good morning’ more often. He “guarantees” we will become happier.
That guarantee is worth its weight in gold.
Like Basma, Tommy spoke well. It’s a shame they’re both not permanent speakers. We could do with a change from the old geezers.
4. Mr B suggested that a ‘Volunteer Department’ should be created. It would link want-to-be volunteers with organisations that need them. However, two of his grasshoppers informed us that it has already been done. There are apps doing just that.
Mr B was rightly chuffed. Yet another one of his ideas has been adopted. His legacy grows.
5. Let’s create a city with two separate societies, said the oracle Mr B. Society (A) works 3.5 (nine hour) days a week and so does Society (B).
Businesses will be more productive, operating seven days a week instead of five, he says, and they won’t have to pay overtime. Meanwhile, the workers get more leisure time and a healtheir life balance. Employment almost doubles and the economy grows. We’d have two of everything, including sports leagues.
There would be shorter commuting times and less traffic congestion. And less strain on public transport.
With the fewer hours worked (31.5 instead of 35 or 40) there would be fewer dollars earned, but within that different, more productive economy those effects would soon level. A dollar would go further.
It’s not job share, it’s ‘desk’ share. One company operates as two companies, using the same infrastructure but different personnel. It’s not shift work, it’s separate everything. Human resources, accounts . . .
Society A would compete with Society B and everyone would benefit from the competition.
One problem: how do we teach our children? (If you can solve this problem let Mr B, or this scribe, know.)
6. Other topics discussed:
– The Skipper of the yacht Scallywag complained bitterly about the shark he ran into (breaking its back). He probably lost the race because of it, he complained. He didn’t mention the needless suffering of the poor shark that had been in its ocean minding its own business, ran into by a bunch of clots playing with an expensive toy.
– Politician Barnaby Joyce was said to be an example of a Christian not too worried about Climate Change, because a god will save us.
– Mr B reiterated his claim made five years ago that the end of the world (as we know it) will noticeably begin in 2021. (But to those of you suffering eco-anxiety, don’t worry. Mr B has been wrong before. Eg. sewerage pipes.)
– Although Mark the Grinner knows what he is talking about, having worked and studied in the environmental sector, Mr B still has trouble accepting that native animal sanctuaries, like this one, are not a good idea. He figures that if just one of those sanctuaries protects 80% of mainland Australia’s eastern barred bandicoots, they can’t be a bad thing, can they?
– Mr B suggests that to get child support, parents (or soon-to-be parents) would have to attend parent classes. If we have to learn how to drive a car to be let loose on the road . . .
– Should businesses be required to pay suppliers and tradies immediately or within a week? And be penalised if they don’t? (Currently, some companies don’t pay for 120 days, and offer loans to their creditors!)
– Should we create a government department that provides unlimited free advice for small business owners in their first two years of operation? (Currently, a department gives only the first two hours free.)
– We heard a poem about retirement, which we might hear again next week.
– China’s pollution problem was mentioned briefly. They’re creating not just CO2, but smog.
6. This week’s unusual beast from our Unusual Beast Series is the black footed ferret from North America. This one below is surprised to learn that our Facebook page has nearly 200 subscribers. Not that that means anything, because . . .
only about thirty people receive the posts.
Even fewer look at them.
Even fewer ‘like’ them.
So . . . what’s the point? Why does your scribe persist?