Trouble from a broad.

1. Trouble from a broad.
A young woman from North America and her male companion gave the delicate Mr B hell today. They savaged him mercilessly and the crowd loved every minute of it. While the couple were at his throat, the rest of the crowd joined in like they were piranha in a feeding frenzy.

It was disgraceful.

Each and every one of the participants should take a long hard look at themselves.

We obtained a photograph of the young woman:

1. Choppers

This video gives just a taste of the insults Mr B had to suffer:

2. Mr B vigorously defended the football player, Mitchell Pearce, and as a consequence the subject of dogs kept cropping up throughout the day. Not funny. This photo should also please the New Zealanders.

1. Kelpie

3. Steve also got a good crowd, his principal heckler being Laurence. It is as though God, or Fate, or Something, each week designates a heckler to each speaker.

As the saying goes: ‘There is a lid for every saucepan.’

Unfortunately, the lids at Speakers’ Corner are bent.

Here is a philosophy common among the regular hecklers:

1. Hecklers 1

4. In the Golden Days of television there was a program called, ‘The Invaders’, starring Roy Thinnes. Earth had been invaded by people from another planet. The invaders looked exactly like us, but each one had a bent little finger that gave them away.

Today one speaker suggested that Earth has been invaded by Martians. (Who was the speaker suggesting this? Was it Mirko, the UFO guy? The guy who says he was abducted by aliens? No, it wasn’t Mirko. This claim wasn’t strange enough to have come from Mirko.)

The speaker suggested that the invading Martians look just like us. Even they can’t tell Earthling from Martian, so they have devised a signal: whilst talking, Martians intersperse their sentences with two wholly unnecessary words: ‘You know’. That way they can subtly indicate their identity to other Martians. The more often a Martian includes in their speech the words, ‘you know’, the higher their rank.

If the speaker’s claim is true, the end is nigh.

5. Other topics discussed were free trade, why lawyers are cads and bounders, assisted killing, God’s understandable refusal to provide evidence of His own existence, zebras, emotional beliefs, and suicide.

Here is the book to which Mr B referred: Our Corrupt Legal System, (Why Everyone is a Victim, Except Rich Criminals) by Evan Whitton.

Here is a postcard from the Postsecret website: (Click to enlarge.)

Thanks to former self