Attack of the snot-gobblers.

1.Steve Maxwell had an exceptional day with a consistently good crowd. Is it his top hat that inspires him? Is there a magician’s rabbit under that top hat? Is it gnawing away at his brain? Who knows, but Steve was on fire today.

But where is Ray?

2. Last week we had two evangelists teaming up to rattle the bones of passers-by with talk of hellfire. It was a pleasure to see them not turning up again today. This scribe hopes God has smitten them for giving Him a bad name.

1. Religion 2

3. When Mr B’s vocal chords played up to make him sound ridiculous, Peter the Heckler obligingly took over and made the crowd even bigger. Good stuff!

4. Poor Mr B was besieged by three snot-gobblers heckling him. All three of the little buggers should have been home doing their homework. The smallest of the sprogs got up onto the podium and spoke briefly, venting an outrageous attack on the delicate Mr B. For some stupid reason the crowd loved it and applauded. Then the little #%$@ jumped down and ran off with his mother.

He was only a little fella.

The testy Mr B and the little ball of snot exchanged barbs as his laughing mother led him away down the road. We hope that when she got him home she put him back on a chain.

It was a highlight enjoyed by everyone but the person who actually mattered.

5. It was pointed out that the year 2030 is closer than the year 2000.

6. Dear reader, do you remember when we recounted a few months ago how the decrepit 92 year-old Arthur propositioned a woman half his age, without first ensuring that the man standing next to her was not her husband? And when it was pointed out to him that the man standing next to her was indeed her husband, he just shrugged and wandered off? Well, Mr Suave disgraced himself again today. As soon as he staggered onto the premises he made straight for a young woman and ‘introduced’ himself.

Admittedly, his style has considerably improved. Instead of propositioning the woman outright he merely exhibited his wishful thinking. That’s a big improvement, Arthur. We commend you.

7. Three hecklers became considerably angry (in separate incidents): Kevin the geriatric, Andrew Toth the flasher, and a familiar passer-by. All three men could use this advice:

Hecklers 2

8. We hope David in Brisbane is well and happy, and that Eliana enjoys her holiday in New Zealand. And that those three snot-gobblers take a long hard look at themselves.